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Conversation with a US Marshal

Cartoon sent to your man in
"el Casa Blanca" with anecdote
(Bill Clinton)

My best friend Texas Longhorn told me an amusing anecdote concerning this cartoon. He was at the local farmers market dong some shopping, when he came upon a gentleman wearing a US Marshall's cap. Texas asked, "Are you just wearing that cap, or are you working for them?"

The gentleman looked at him and replied, "Don't you recognize me?" Texas said, "No, not in these surroundings." The gentleman said that he was working for the state police, when Texas and I had stopped the Presidential motorcade. When he said that, Texas immediately handed the US Marshal this cartoon, which also had "D.C. What does it mean?" printed on the back. After viewing the cartoon and reading the "D.C." article, here is the ensuing conversation that occurred between them:

Marshal: Why did you and Barbara stop the presidential motorcade back in 1984?

Texas: Because the government kept insisting that they have no proof that I exist. I got tired of all the bureaucratic red tape. So I figured, fine, then I'm not standing in the middle of the road with Barbara!

Marshal: Don't you have any school records?

Texas: No

Marshal: Do you have any military records?

Texas: No

Marshal: Do you have a baptismal certificate?

Texas: No

Marshal: Do you have a birth certificate?

Texas: No

Marshal: (said in an incredulous tone) You don't have a birth certificate?!?

Texas: No

Marshal: So then, where are your parents?

Texas: I've never seen them.

Marshal: Do you know where you were born?

Texas: No, and I don't care. I have no idea if I was born in this country or not. The entire planet is my home.

(Note: Texas told me that the Marshal was insistent when it came to him having a birth certificate.)

So, becoming exasperated with the Marshal's singular, persistent line of questioning, concerning one having to possess a piece of paper to prove ones existence, Texas responded with:

I've never seen
BIRDS flying around with birth certificates to prove to other BIRDS that they have a birth date. Birds know they exist!

Marshall: (mumbling) You should have some form of identification?!

Texas: I already have the best form of identification, how many people do you know on this planet whose cow has apppeared in court as a character witness for them, had them to township and borough hall meetings and stopped a presidential motorcade!

Marshall: (just standing there slack jawed)

Texas: How many times have you heard of people around this planet, who deliberately forge documents of all kinds. Even the currency of various nations. Better to say who you are and stand by that!

Note: Texas also mentioned (at some point) during the conversation, "Considering the horrendous experience in the household I was sold to (by the government), I care not which country my inheritance lies, the controlling government can have it!"

I have come across people who, for some reason, don't believe what I have written in this BLUE Note. Let this fact be known! Both persons of that household are dead and I know not where they are buried, nor do I care! If the government has not gotten the part of the inheritence that should have been mine. Then they should go out and sieze it!
Something else that occurred on the same day
as the Presidential Motorcade Incident
(Reagans re-election campaign

After arriving at one of the entrances to Our Lady of Czestochowa Shrine, Texas was having a conversation with an officer, when they both observed an airplane pass overhead. They watched it til it went out of sight. What Texas found amusing was that twenty minutes after the plane had passed over the officers radio was buzzing with concern over the planes passing. Texas couldn't understand why they were all upset about it. Considering that they had their blue and white rotocraft patrolling above the area.

Anyways, the officer asked Texas, "Why did you bring your cow here?" Texas responded, "Because I'm tired of hearing the government telling me I don't exist! So, I brought Barbara here to prove that I do exist." The officer questioned me about what I was saying. Texas told him that he doesn't have any of the legal documents, such as birth certificate, baptismal, military record, school records, etc, etc. In 1982, a lawyer represented Texas in a law suit against the government. Which the lawyer informed him that they had won.

After Ronald Reagan was finished with his stumping at the shrine, the instructions went out to allow the bicyclists to go down first, and the motorcade would follow. After hearing that Texas
and I (Barbara) started walking down towards Chalfont. After we went past the second exit (for the shrine), people went streaming by on their bicycles. A school bus was approaching from the opposite direction (they had used the buses to ferry the spectators up to the shrine) so Texas noticing that the lawns we were walking on were a little soft from the rain. So we went to cross to the other side of the road, we stepped into the lane that the bus was travelling in causing it to come to a halt..

Texas looked up the road to see if the other lane was clear, and saw what looked like a funeral procession approaching, but it was the Presidential motorcade (they all had their headlights on). As the motorcade neared to within fifty foot of them, Texas dropped all but the end of my lead and took three long strides, till he was standing in the middle of the other lane.

This caused the driver of the lead car to slam on his brakes so hard that the cadillac did a nose dive. The expression on the drivers face was one of extreme dismay. Texas turned around, facing me, and stood there for a few minutes, then I came over to his side of the road. This allowed the bus to pass. After the bus was gone, the lead car started to rev its engine to drive around us, Texas once again dropped enough of my lead rope so that he could step back to the lane I was previously occupying. Texas saw another bus slowly crawling up the road, he remained there till the bus came up and had to stop.

He remained there for a few more minutes, then came over to my side of the road. The driver in the lead car, being very disturbed at the situation, tromped on the gas in an attempt to go around us, nearly striking two people that were walking along side of the bus.

He proceeded down about two tenths of a mile before stopping. The bus moved on and Texas went back into the lane the bus had been in. He remained there for a while again, blocking both sides of the road again.

The rest of the motorcade had not moved since the initial halt. I observed the two occupants of the second car (now first) looking up at the sky and fidgiting and pulling on their sleeves. Finally, after some time, Texas came back to my side of the road and we stood there for a few minutes more before the motorcade went around us, passing into the opposing lane to do so. With the motorcade gone, we decided to head home.

When we got to the intersection of 152 and 202, which had a traffic light, we stood there for a considerable amount of time and the light would just not change. As we were waiting, a military bus was approached and was delayed at the light with us. Texas, getting a little impatient, raised a red painted ammo box (see main page Anecdotes for details on box) towards the traffic that had the green light.

This caused the traffic from both directions to stop (go figure) as we were starting to cross, the GI's in the bus started to cheer.

After getting a bite to eat, we started out for the barn. As we ambled along, on our way home a military rotocraft appeared, circled around us, went back down from the were we had just been. Twenty minutes later, the rotocraft once again circled us and returned from whence it had come, and this occurred every twenty minutes for the next three hours.

That last time the rotocraft came around, we had hung a left onto a side road, that led to the farm, and we were down it about a half mile.

The rotocraft came to the intersection, made a circle, from that circle it made another, working its way down the road in our direction. When it started its third circle, Texas noted that it would pass overhead. So, we stopped and Texas rested his arms on my shoulders and waited till the rotocraft was straight overhead.

When that happened, Texas looked straight up and gave them a nice big smile and a wave. After that they must have gone back to their own barn for we didn't see them anymore after that.

Upon getting back to the barn, ourselves, Texas had tuned in WFIL
(5600 am radio) to listen to the Dave Madden show, Cross Fire.

Near the end of the show, a caller said, "that he was in Doylestown yesterday and saw some guy there with his cow!" Well after hearing that, and Texas being Texas, he had to call in and tell them our entire history from A to Z!

Follow the cow back to the barn.
Follow me back to the barn



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Created: Monday, October 4, 1996 at 12:05 pm
Last Updated: May / 9 / 2009
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