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Tales told by Barbara the Bovine
Click here to hear the actual recording of the tape sent to the president!
Texas Longhorn is sending $2000 (yes those are real $500 dollar bill's. Try to get a hold of them nowadays!) in tax money to the U.S. government. On a whim the Bucks County resident put together an "Emergency Repair Kit for the Nation's Economy."
Article excerpted from, "The Free Press" of Quakertown, and "The Intelligencer" of Doylestown, Pa.
Area resident Texas Longhorn figures the White House could do with some repairs on the nation's economy and has sent an "emergency repair kit for official use only" to the White House.
Longhorn's kit includes cash, a stopper for govt. leaks and a cassette tape to explain the kit.
The "repair kit" includes such items as a garbage disposal stopper to "stop the leaks," a pin to "deflate the inflation," a left-handed knife to "cut the lefthand corners off the budget" and a camouflage cloth to "cover up the patchwork." A right-handed knife to "cut off the right hand corners of the budget" will be sent later.
Longhorn,who was 'known to parade his cow onto the front steps of Quakertown District Justice Kathyrn Stump's office to serve as a "character witness" several years ago in a court proceeding, intends the package to be taken seriously, especially since the plastic box also contains a tax payment of $2,000 cash.
A micro-cassette tape that "will not self-destruct after five seconds" explains what the package and contents are all about, Longhorn says.
The package, he says, will be sent registered and insured for $2,100 to the White House this week. Longhorn called the White House mailroom Tuesday morning to announce the arrival of the package and inquire whether any secret service personnel might want to first inspect it.
The mail room employee answering the call asked Longhorn to detail the contents of the package, according to the taped conversation. "Is this for the president?" she asked.
"Yes," Longhorn replied, and added that the package was sent as "a bit of humor." He further explained that he had sent a package to Jimmy Carter too and he had followed the same mailing procedure.
The mail room employee said the package could be sent, but that said Longhorn should attach a note to the $2,000 cash earmarking it as a tax payment, "otherwise the money will be returned immediately."
Does Longhorn expect any thanks or a reply from President Regan? "Well, they know who I am and where they can reach me," he laughed.
Here is the receipt to show that it was truly sent in!
Note: The above photostat picture's will be replaced with actual scans of the original photograph's. Joe Pulli was the press photographer who took the above picture's.
Note (pt II): Starting with Jimmy Carter, Texas sent him a professional strength can of "Raid" for the bugs that were in the Russian embassey. With Reagans first term, he sent him a "Spy Dust Removal Kit" consisting of a pink feather duster a can of Endust and a dust cloth along with a large poster of five of my cows on the Quakertown Borough Hall steps along with articles from United Press International, Philadelphia Bulletin, and a letter that was sent to 60 Minutes. For his second term he received the above mentioned Emergency Repair Kit. George Bush was sent, via UPS w/return receipt, a 3x5 foot (approximately) poster/collage of a atomic mushroom cloud and assorted other things to magnify mans stupidity of warfare. Also included in the poster was a picture of Barbara (one of his cows) in a satin dress (
included as an insult to his wife
). And last but not least, the current president, Bill "Slick" Clinton received the
on the $300,000 study of the effects of methane gas from cattle on the environment plus "D.C., What does it Mean!"
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Created: August 21, 1997 1:03 pm
Last Updated: May / 9 / 2009 12:10 pm
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